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Fic: By Inches

Title: By Inches
Characters: Roy/Ed
Word Count: 171
Rating: PG-13 for tight pants
Summary: More fun to look at than to get off.
Notes: For pandoraculpa's prompt, "Roy and Ed, removing wet clothing".



"I don't know why you wear them. Well, no, I know why I enjoy them, but I really don't see how you think they're practical. I mean, you smell like a wet dog right now."

"Why slide along the ground on your ass when you -"

"- can slide along the ground on a cow's ass, yes. So you always say, but honestly, you know I'm right. They get sweaty in the summer, they don't keep you warm in winter, and when they get wet -"

"Little less conversation, little more action, huh?" Ed gestured towards the topic of discussion - the incomparable yet impractical tight leather pants, soaked through with rain, that Roy was currently carefully inching off the beautiful ass to which they were clinging.

Roy sighed. "It'll be New Year before I get any action at the rate these trousers are coming off." How much would Ed kill him if he clapped and shredded them with a quick transmutation? He was beginning to think it could be worth the risk.

Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
havocmangawip
Dec. 4th, 2010 12:48 am (UTC)
Hah!!!!

AND that line/lyric is PERFECT!!!!


"Little less conversation, little more action, huh?"
bob_fish
Dec. 4th, 2010 12:52 am (UTC)
XD XD
a_big_apple
Dec. 4th, 2010 01:19 am (UTC)
I love that your summary is "More fun to look at than to get off." True of the pants, but less true of the wearer.
bob_fish
Dec. 4th, 2010 01:23 am (UTC)
Definitely! I liked that the summary was kind of ambiguous.

Imagine the torture of being unable to get those pants off that ass, though! I should have had more fun with Roy's frustration, really.

I love that icon. Poor Ed. "Get my pants off NOW lest I die," he is saying.
a_big_apple
Dec. 4th, 2010 01:31 am (UTC)
Though I suppose if Roy was kissing as he went, it could lead to some squirmy-Ed-bondage sort of fun.

Also, imagining Ed saying "lest I die" brought to mind the Romeo and Juliet Ed and Roy, with the codpieces...
bob_fish
Dec. 4th, 2010 01:49 am (UTC)
OMG, this fic could have been so much better like that! Squirmy Ed bondage is the best.

Oh, the codpieces.
a_big_apple
Dec. 4th, 2010 02:05 am (UTC)
I think the wonderfulness of squirmy Ed bondage is how ADORABLE squirmy Ed actually is.
enemytosleep
Dec. 4th, 2010 01:36 am (UTC)
I'm surprise Ed hasn't just ripped them off, unless he is getting more satisfaction out of teasing Roy. I could see that too. And why ling is whining about the tight pants not coming off, I have no idea...
bob_fish
Dec. 4th, 2010 01:48 am (UTC)
Wet leather pants chafe! He does not want to rip them off because he loves them so, and more importantly he does not want to lose the argument to Roy.

Where is Ling? Or are you picturing him standing in the corner all :D as you so frequently do in fics where he is not mentioned?
enemytosleep
Dec. 4th, 2010 01:52 am (UTC)
But we want naked Ed! D:

Ling sits next to me and whines when he is not included in things. It is very sad and pitiable.
bob_fish
Dec. 4th, 2010 02:01 am (UTC)
See apple's comment about how Roy could turn slow removal of constricting pants into impromptu bondage fun. Why, why did I not write that?

Poor Ling. He suffers so much!
hikaru_9
Dec. 22nd, 2010 07:28 pm (UTC)
Clearly you have to write that now. A sequel of sorts :D
alphonseelric22
Dec. 4th, 2010 11:16 pm (UTC)
I think Ed wears them because he KNOWS Roy likes em :P
bob_fish
Dec. 4th, 2010 11:31 pm (UTC)
I think Ed wears them because he thinks they are MANLY and BADASS. :D Inciting lust is just a fringe benefit.
pandoraculpa
Dec. 4th, 2010 11:41 pm (UTC)
*ADORES*

Oh, this is lovely!! Just what a wet pants fic should be (not like the depressing piece I wrote for evil_whimsey on a similar prompt). Though I have to agree with everyone that a bound-by-wet-clothing bondage fic would be amazing. Maybe you'll feel compelled to continue this someday, and work that in? (Because we all know how impatient Roy can get, and he's especially prone to naughty behavior when he realizes that he has Ed at a disadvantage...)

Ee, I'm so glad you used my prompt! It's a delightful piece, and absolutely brightened my day! :D
bob_fish
Dec. 4th, 2010 11:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Glad you like. You wrote depressing wet leather pants fic? I admire you for not taking the obvious route. I am kicking myself that I didn't think to do wet leather trousers squirmy Ed bondage. I probably could have got 5000 words out of that without blinking, and I'd still be writing it now. Besides what you mention, I love how reactive Ed is and how easily he can be talked into things that are slightly more kinky than he thinks he likes.
pandoraculpa
Dec. 5th, 2010 12:11 am (UTC)
Yeah, I did. I can rarely take the obvious route when it comes to promptfic; it's a weird quirk in my brain. If I think I'm being directed to one thing, I have to go another way. I did the same thing with another prompt from Whimsey- Ed, cocoa, and someone perving on him at Briggs- and wrote creepy Kimblee-fic instead of happy porn. I'm so lame.

And you can still write 5000 words of bondage smut! I promise I won't stop you, and will in fact cheer you from the sidelines! *bigeyes*

(and oh lord, so right about Ed and kink. I so love Ed and kink...)
amethyst_koneko
Dec. 22nd, 2010 01:03 am (UTC)
Awww. Access to depressing wet leather fic is denied. sadness. :( Why no access?
pandoraculpa
Dec. 22nd, 2010 01:10 am (UTC)
Ah, most everything on that journal is friends-locked. Shall we be friends? ;p
amethyst_koneko
Dec. 22nd, 2010 02:50 am (UTC)
Sure! I honestly thought we already were. oops! ^_^
pandoraculpa
Dec. 22nd, 2010 03:25 am (UTC)
Done! And I think maybe you've friended my writing journal, but not the personal one (which is where this particular ficlet lives). But it's all good now! :D
pandoraculpa
Dec. 5th, 2010 12:14 am (UTC)
In fact I turned the wet pants into a metaphor. A metaphor! Holy crap, I'm strange.
amethyst_koneko
Dec. 22nd, 2010 01:07 am (UTC)
^_^ Roy may be complaining now but he should know that anything worth having is worth a little effort! :D I'm sure Ed will make it worth his while! XD
bob_fish
Dec. 22nd, 2010 09:57 am (UTC)
Roy just wants it all, that's his trouble. I think he'd settle for a zip down the sides?
lynx212
May. 30th, 2011 06:40 pm (UTC)
LOL my dear massive lol!!
straightcogar
May. 31st, 2011 11:49 am (UTC)
You know you love "tha pants" Roy, don't fight it.
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )