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Fic: Warning: May Contain Sap

Title: Warning: May Contain Sap
Setting: Fullmetal Alchemist, post-manga, about eight years after the Promised Day.
Characters: Roy/Ed
Rating: PG, but see title.
Word count: 1814
Summary: Ed took the box with an air of extreme caution, as if it contained a volatile substance. Which, in a sense, it did.
Notes: Thanks to a_big_apple for the super-quick read through, and for nerding with me about worldbuilding and the stuffs herein.

His absences were frequent; that Roy was used to them made it easier, but not any more pleasant. At least being President of the country helps you out when it comes to keeping busy.

His days at work were necessarily long. And when his lover was away and the rooms were empty, his friends were usually happy to help fill his evenings. His vice president was usually alone when she was in town, thanks to the fact that her partner was Governor of Ishbal. They kept each other company in their usual, easy way. At other times it would be Havoc and his wife jovially bullying him to the private room of a restaurant, and calling him an alchemy widower. Armstrong, who'd sometimes threaten to cook. Breda, who'd invite him around and let the kids jump all over him. These days, it seemed like everyone was paired off, and how had Roy had somehow not noticed that until it had happened? But then he'd had a lot on his mind: plotting a coup, and then another coup, and then reforming a country, and rebuilding a shattered region, and along the way somehow also settling down with the most irritating and brilliant man in Amestris. Who spent far, far too much time away.

But then, Edward Elric was Edward Elric. Trying to make him into anything different would be missing the point. Besides, he had work to do. While Roy was reforming Amestris, Ed and his brother were busy reforming science.

As busy as Roy was naturally, as busy as he made himself, the absences were there. When Ed was too far from a telephone to call, Roy missed his voice. When he did phone, Roy missed his expressions and his body and his scent. In between phone calls, he found himself saving up stories for Ed, wanting to ask Ed's opinion on some matter he knew Ed would have something pithy to say about. He slept with his limbs wrapped around Ed's pillow, and dearly hoped his security detail never spotted him doing it. Love had never done Roy any favours in the personal dignity department.

And then, of course, there was the sex. Or rather, the complete lack of it. Ed thousands of miles away meant no leisurely Sunday morning groping. It meant no living room ambushes from a research-glazed Ed feeling the sudden need for a very physical break. No kinky activities that took long enough that they needed to be scheduled in advance. No occasional office blow-jobs (because really, what's the point of being President if you're not going to?). It had been a two month trip to Creta, this time, and Roy was about ready to hump a hole in the wall.

So, at lunchtime the day before Ed was due back, when Roy walked into his office to find Ed in Roy's own chair, suitcase by the desk and boots propped up on top of it, Roy really couldn't summon up too much irritation.

Of course, this meant that he had to fake the irritation. Boundaries were boundaries. Let no one say that Roy Mustang, first democratically elected President of Amestris, was whipped.

Roy looked at the boots and narrowed his eyes.

Ed tutted. "I put a piece of paper under the boots. See? Paper." He pointed at the copy of today's Central Times resting under his heels.

Then Ed just carried on looking at the newspaper. He cocked his head in surprise, then suddenly swung his feet to the floor and snatched up the paper.

"How was your journey?" said Roy, coming around the desk as Ed scanned avidly through the front page story.

"Mm," Ed shrugged. "Have you seen this?"

"Of course I've seen the story, how much do you think I slack off? Weren't you supposed to be back tomorrow? Not that I'm not delighted to see your feet on my desk?"

Ed's leg had started to jiggle. "There was an earlier train, I was ready to come home." He waved a dismissive hand, then jabbed it at the paper." Did you do this? I thought you said it was a conflict of interest, so it had to come from parliament. Is this gonna get you in trouble?"

"I didn't, and it did come from parliament, and it's not."

"Oh." Ed opened the paper and glanced inside, then shut it again. Then jiggled his leg. And looked down at the headline, and then up at Roy, and then down at the headline.

House Votes Today on Same-Sex Marriage Bill.

"A Progressive Dem MP called Lucy Obermeyer proposed it. The party are backing it privately, but the leadership decided it'd be a vote of conscience, no whip. This was all last month."

"Why didn't you tell me about this? You must have known for ages."

"You've been away for ages."

"On the phone?"

"I thought I'd leave it as a surprise."

Ed shook his head tolerantly. "Sure, Roy. Nothing says welcome home like surprise legislation."

"Not a surprise if you'd been picking up Amestrian newspapers, I do know they get out there."

"Not in the Araki mountains, they don't. Anyway, I talk to you, you'll tell me if someone burned down the country while I was out."

"So. They're voting on it today. It's going to pass. Because I know all the members of parliament who don't approve, and there actually aren't that many of them." Roy took a breath. "So."


Ed was apparently having one of his oblivious moments. Roy came around the desk, and kissed Ed hello, because he hadn't done that yet, and then pulled his top desk drawer open, and took something from it.

Ed looked at the little box in Roy's hand, and groaned.

Then he bit his lip and said, "Roy." The word was practically a continuation of the same groan, full of fears Ed was clearly too guilty to voice about the probably camp and definitely sappy contents of the box, and probably of Roy's brain, and possibly of Ed's brain too.

It was, in short, the exact reaction Roy had been expecting.

He grinned reassuringly, and Ed smiled nervously. Ed took the box with an air of extreme caution, as if it contained a volatile substance. Which, in a sense, it did. Ed's eyes were big, and his eyebrows had disappeared somewhere in the upper recesses of his bangs.

Ed grinned at Roy. Then he jiggled his foot. Then he squared his jaw, and clicked the box open.

"Huh." The surprise in his voice wasn't clearly happy or horrified, and so now it was Roy's turn to nervously widen his eyes and raise his eyebrows into his hair. "This is, uh. Wow. That's actually - really fucking cool."


Roy breathed out.

Ed had taken the ring out and was weighing it in the palm of his left hand. "It's really heavy." He turned the ring over. It was chunky, with a brilliant sheen to the darkish metal. "I love it, it's awesome. Is it" - he peered closer - "it's an alloy, what is it?"

"Tungsten carbide. You don't have to polish it, it keeps its shine. And apparently it's nearly impossible to scratch." And make sure that they use nickel and not cobalt as a binder, Winry had told Roy on the phone as he frantically scribbled, because of the oils from skin. And … It had gone on for ages - but now he really owed her one.

"What's the ring of black stuff going all the way around, is it onyx or something?"

"It's ancient wood. Two thousand years old, from the banks of the river Sulis. It was part of the old port, when this city was first built."

Ed turned the ring over again, then put his nose so close to it that his eyes nearly crossed. "Did they have to chemically harden it, or is it a transmutation - or does it partially fossilise? How do they seal it, is it lacquered?"

"No idea." Ed rolled his eyes and shook his head with a grin, because of course these were the first questions Roy should have asked, because this was the important thing here, the biochemistry of the wood. Roy took a breath. "So."

Ed returned his look with that blinding smile. "Thank you! It rocks." Ed put the ring on the end of his index finger and admired it from all angles, titling his head around.

Roy put a hand to Ed's shoulder. "Ed! The ring comes with a question. Remember?"

Ed blinked, then frowned and looked inward for a moment. Then he looked back up.

Roy didn't breathe.

"Yeah, we can do that." Ed shrugged and nodded, his voice happy and casual. "I mean, you're just talking about a small thing and then a party, right? Like Havoc and Catalina? Not the big old Presidential dog and pony show, because, no way. Right?"

"God, no," said Roy with feeling. "I still feel like I'm having to steer you towards the point here. Look." He took Ed's face in his hands, as if holding his head in place would have any effect at all on his runaway brain. "I'm not asking about the wedding. Forget the wedding. I'm asking you to marry me. I'm asking you to be married to me. We make a bunch more promises, and then we live with them, and we carry on loving each other."

Ed looked at him. He looked at Roy and cycled through half a dozen of his best expressions. There was embarrassed (delicious blush and mouth pressed into a line), then taken aback (mouth slackened and open a little), then manly determination (lips setting into a wide frown, made him look like a grumpy child), then getting sappy despite himself (eyes wide, muscles of his face softening), and then he was kissing Roy. The kiss was lovely and purposeful and it had a lot of tongue in it. Apparently, Ed had had tuna sandwiches for lunch. Roy wasn't a big fan of tuna, but he'd cope.

Ed pulled back a little. His hand scratched at Roy's hairline. "The kiss is a yes," he muttered. "I'm telling you this because when you're nervous as shit you can get kind of dense."

"Oh," said Roy. "Well. Thank you for the clarification." His throat closed up, with no warning, on the last word.

Ed's eyes were suspiciously bright.

Roy took a breath. It hitched, but his throat relaxed. "By the way," he said, "I should mention. If we can both go the next ten minutes without any manly tears, we win fifty cenz from Winry."

Ed nodded. He pulled in a breath, put his fists on his knees, and did the frown of manly determination again. Then he commenced heroically attempting not to sniff, while Roy himself breathed deeply and slowly, and tried not to blink.

Two and a half minutes later, Roy was pulling fifty cenz out of his wallet, while Ed dialled the number of Atelier Rockbell.


( 88 comments — Leave a comment )
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Feb. 12th, 2011 12:24 pm (UTC)
Very appropriately, "When I'm sixty-four" by the Beatles came on almost the very moment I clicked this link, so.

Too cute! You pull off the sap without making it overwhelming, and it's all got the domestic, been there, done that, feel to it. I love how you had Roy specify the question, not the wedding. Because really, it isn't the even, or even that same-sex marriage has been legalized. It's just another way of being together and reaffirming that.

Best line? Nothing says welcome home like surprise legislation. That is *so* a comment from a politician's partner, hands down!

I love the add-in about Winry, how IC she was despite not even BEING in the fic, how Ed, of course, wanted to know the The Science Of The Ring and had to be very gently redirected to the point. Roy's worries, because of course he'd work himself into a tizzy over whether or not Ed would approve or say yes or anything. Ed's right - Roy *does* get dense when he's nervous.

So, yeah, in case you didn't notice, I loved this. Perfect thing to read first thing in the morning, I will now be feeling sappy the remainder of the day.
Feb. 12th, 2011 12:34 pm (UTC)
Haha, so glad you enjoyed and were moved to lengthy commenting! Thank you! As you probably know, I got married to mah lovely wife thanks to a piece of legislation like this, so sap on the subject of marriage comes very easily to me.
(no subject) - seatbeltdrivein - Feb. 12th, 2011 12:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bob_fish - Feb. 12th, 2011 01:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Feb. 12th, 2011 12:39 pm (UTC)



manly tears.


... well apparently my brain got broken...
Feb. 12th, 2011 12:44 pm (UTC)
Broken in a good way, I hope? Thanks?
(no subject) - freaksoldier - Feb. 12th, 2011 12:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bob_fish - Feb. 12th, 2011 12:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 12th, 2011 01:40 pm (UTC)
You know I love this, because I told you so probably less than an hour ago, but I felt the need to click and comment anyway. Roy and Ed are my vicarious romance, their cuteness will carry me through the sleepy sleepy workday.
Feb. 12th, 2011 01:53 pm (UTC)
Perfect icon for it! Thanks, I'm glad the sap hit the right note for you. Good luck with your sleepy sleepy working day! Make sure you drive safe.
(no subject) - a_big_apple - Feb. 12th, 2011 02:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bob_fish - Feb. 12th, 2011 02:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Feb. 12th, 2011 02:08 pm (UTC)
"By the way," he said, "I should mention. If we can both go the next ten minutes without any manly tears, we win fifty cenz from Winry."

*snort* Of course, Winry won. I love how they're trying to act all casual and cool and completely fail at it.♥
The description of Ed's diverse expressions is also priceless.

I was afraid of this possibly getting too sappy, but you pulled it off very well. Keep it up!
Feb. 12th, 2011 02:14 pm (UTC)
Ha, of course she won! She knows them both too well. Thank you, I tried to be careful with the sap here. Fic related to weddings and proposals and the like can get a little too fluffy for my tastes.
(no subject) - claret_stars - Feb. 12th, 2011 03:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 12th, 2011 02:18 pm (UTC)
I love this. It's completely IC that Ed got all distracted by the trivialities and Roy had to spell it out for him :D And the end with the bet was too cute.
Feb. 12th, 2011 02:38 pm (UTC)
What a cute little icon! Akuta, right? They are such dorks, I love them so. Thank you!
Feb. 12th, 2011 02:24 pm (UTC)
Aw, this is lovely!! I adore your descriptions of Ed's expressions (man, I can just *see* those!), and Roy's bet with Winry vis-a-vis the manly tears. And of *course*, Ed not getting the point of the ring and its attendant question. For being such manly men, they really are just big ol' saps. :D

Love it, love it, love it, what an excellent way to start the day! Thanks for sharing! :)
Feb. 12th, 2011 02:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you! They do try so hard to be manly, it amuses me (and Winry, who I'm sure will be cackling like a loon over this XD).
Feb. 12th, 2011 04:52 pm (UTC)
Awww! Roy and Ed are both adorkable here. I really enjoyed this, it was cute and a little sappy without being over the top. Thanks for sharing this with everyone.
Feb. 12th, 2011 05:04 pm (UTC)
Adorkable and sappy without going over the top is just what I was going for here! Thank you, I'm glad this hit the right note for you.
Feb. 12th, 2011 04:57 pm (UTC)
Where did this little number come from? It was very sweet, and I love Ed's nerding on the actual ring (and Winry's bet).
Feb. 12th, 2011 05:09 pm (UTC)
Haha, it's been on the back burner for weeks after a convo with Apple about our post-manga 'verses and attitudes in them to sexuality (which now I think about it, I should probably forward to you soon to help us check I'm hitting the right note in upcoming chapters of TPW). I was too scared to send it to you because it's not only horribly sappy, but horribly sappy AND connected to weddings. D:

I'm distracting you with Al, btw.
(no subject) - enemytosleep - Feb. 12th, 2011 05:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Feb. 12th, 2011 06:49 pm (UTC)
Boohoohooohooo! I love the sap and now owe Winry 50 cenz! So cute!
Feb. 12th, 2011 06:57 pm (UTC)
Winry will be raking in the money at this rate! Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed the sap!
Feb. 12th, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC)
*wibble, dabs eyes*
Feb. 13th, 2011 12:06 am (UTC)
Haha, that's what I was going for *wiggles eyebrows*

(no subject) - sky_dark - Feb. 13th, 2011 01:35 am (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 12th, 2011 08:12 pm (UTC)
Tuna breath! Manly tears! I love Ed's barrage of wood-related questions. And the Winry cameo.

I just read the whole Wikipedia article on tungsten carbide. That is one badass alloy.
Feb. 13th, 2011 12:10 am (UTC)
Thanks! This is why if Winry and Ed didn't end up married, they'd end up bff. NERDORAMA.

It certainly is! And there is a trend in the UK at least for making dudes' rings, including engagement rings, out of manly metals like tungsten carbide and titanium.
Feb. 12th, 2011 09:24 pm (UTC)
Oh frick, now I want to write dozens of marriage proposals that involve Ed, because I love the way Ed responds to these sorts of things. XD Very nice~
Feb. 13th, 2011 12:07 am (UTC)
I know! I'm not sure I can equal the pure geekery of Ed's canon marriage proposal, but I try. XD I love him for being such a loon. Thanks!
(no subject) - vwl - Feb. 13th, 2011 03:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Feb. 12th, 2011 10:32 pm (UTC)
awww this was so completely IC and made of awesome!! Can I get more?
Feb. 13th, 2011 12:11 am (UTC)
Aw, thank you! Uh, maybe? I've got a bit more future Roy/Ed in my fic index, and a post-manga Roy/Ed plotfic on the go at the moment.
Feb. 12th, 2011 11:55 pm (UTC)
Aww... Great story, with just the right amount of sap and fluff. I loved your take on their relationship! Both Roy and Ed are so nicely IC. I'm afraid I would've owed Winry too, because the occasion simply calls for some manly tears :)

Feb. 13th, 2011 12:08 am (UTC)
Haha, Winry has made a lot of money out of this proposal bet thingy. She can buy all her buddies dinner!

Feb. 13th, 2011 03:52 am (UTC)
Aw, how great was that? [<---rhetorical question, it was totally great!] I love your Roy/Ed, and dig the other pairings you mention, too -- the way you write them, that is.

Had to google tungsten carbide rings -- guess they're pretty popular now, huh? Kewl.

This was just so great; unfortunately, all I've got tonight is gush. So, thank you! :D
Feb. 13th, 2011 11:53 am (UTC)
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